thoughts.

these days, i feel like i have to remind myself to breathe.

we have been on such a roller coaster of emotions the last few weeks.

up down...up down...up down.

things with elsa are good, but upon her arrival, i experienced the same kind of anxiety that i experience when i have a new baby.

the overwhelming thoughts that look like this:

 "oh my gosh, i have another little life and heart to protect and care for."

"will my other kids be jealous?  will they feel loved?"

thankfully, as the days have passed, so have those feelings.

she is fitting in to our family...and i'm not afraid to step on her toes (so to speak) like i was the first few days.

she is not one to be messed with when she is tired or hungry.

she gets cranky and everyone around us knows it.

(she loves to throw this shoulder thing to us---basically saying "get the heck away from me"---now we just laugh at her when she does it).

so, i've been telling people that she has her moments---but don't we all?

who knows what this little life has been through, and i've had to tell myself that over and over, even when she's being a turd.  (yes, i'm being honest, sometimes she's a turd).

i catch myself just staring at her, and can't imagine the heartache and pain she's experienced, at 3 years old.

i grieve for her.  and the life she lived prior to our family.

she's been through so much, in her little life, then one might ever experience.

i've been able to understand God's love so much more, since having her home.

choosing to love this little life, even when we didn't have too...it's such a picture of His love for us.

we are happy she's home...

in her forever family.

{family picture---milo being stubborn as usual--at least he wasn't grabbing his wenis}